InstaGater Verse
by Lightning Skies
Summary: Series of connected Xander/Stargate drabbles written for 100 Prompts for the Crossovers100 community on LiveJournal. Will include both SG-1 and Atlantis
1. 001 Beginnings

**Insta-Gater Verse**  
lightning_skies

Prompts – twistedshorts #001 - Firsts, crossovers100 #001 - Beginnings  
Disclaimer – I don't own BtVS or Stargate  
Warning – Post S7 BtVS, Season 7 Stargate

=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= Prompt 001 - Beginnings =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=

When Xander finally dragged himself into the common room at the New Watcher's Council Headquarters he was exhausted and covered in demon blood and various ichors. He flopped bonelessly on the couch next to Andrew. Willow had long since mojo'd the fabrics in the house to repel dirt and other unidentifiable biological substances, but he really didn't think he would have cared if the couch was made of delicate and expensive silk so long as he was able to sit down.

Andrew had been on house and baby Slayer sitting duties, otherwise called night watch (Xander claimed that it was because nothing ever happened and all you had to do was watch TV all night.) He had specifically called dibs on all the night watch shifts this week because there was a multi-day Stargate SG-1 marathon on, counting down every previously aired episode prior to the premiere of the new spinoff series Stargate: Atlantis. The whole Council knew about the 'epic event' because it was the only thing that Andrew had talked about for the past month. Giles had accidentally scheduled Dawn to night watch duties on the roster, until Andrew had threatened to stop feeding their small army of Slayers. Hungry Slayers were cranky Slayers and so the schedule had be rapidly reshuffled so that the demon summoning geek got his marathon.

"What episode are they on?" Xander grabbed some of Andrew's popcorn as he tuned in. He wasn't as much of a rabid fan as Andrew, having spent most of his high school career patrolling with Buffy rather than vegging out in front of the TV, but he had caught the show whenever he could. This was a good chance to earn back his suffering geek cred (with all the physical activity in his life he almost felt like a jock), catch up with his favorite group of intrepid explorers, and it didn't involve moving, which his screaming, bruised and tired muscles voted for whole heartedly.

"You just missed the opening credits on episode 100."

"Isn't that the one where they find out about a TV show based on them. The episode's almost entirely fan service."

"Yeah, it's awesome."

They shared a grin. "I have great timing then. The only episode I like better is 'Window of Opportunity'."

"Ah, the time loop, a classic sci-fi favorite story device."

Xander nodded sagely, "It's right up there with alter egos, amnesia and time traveling."

"Well, you missed 'Window...' and '1969.' They're airing the seasons in order and those were in season 4 and 2, we're up to 5."

"At least I managed to come early enough to miss season 6. I hated Jonas and didn't start watching the show again until Daniel came back."

The commercial break ended and Andrew shushed Xander and turned back to the TV. They sat in near silence for a few episodes, Andrew being totally enthralled in the action he must have seen a million times and Xander half asleep and more instinctually drawn to the movement on the screen than paying any attention to the content.

"How cool would it be to be able to go through the Stargate. To meet real life aliens." Andrew had his super-enthused fanboy expression on and was staring at the TV with wide, excited eyes. He looked like a half demented puppy.

Xander shrugged and winced at the muscle spasm it caused in his abused axe swinging arm, "We fight demons and the forces of hell, what's so great about aliens? They're just as slimy, horned, scaled and bent on our destruction."

Andrew turned his creepy sparkling eyes to the brunette and was nearly bouncing in his seat. "Y'know. The whole people beyond the stars thing, boldly going where no one's ever gone before."

Xander snorted, "Except, of course, for the native people who were there first. Or the camera crew who filmed you coming through the gate."

Andrew just glared at him, but quickly shook it off in his overwhelming fit of geek euphoria. "Well, I think aliens are a lot cooler than demons. I wish you really could meet SG-1, not just the actors and go on adventures through the stargate."

Xander turned to him in horror and Andrew realized exactly what he'd said and belatedly clapped a hand over his mouth. There was a rustle of cloth behind them and they both turned and looked over the back of the couch warily at the horned, bearded vengeance demon who'd appeared there. D'Hoffryn smiled evilly at the men cowering on the couch.

"I've been waiting for this for a long time. Hello again, Alexander." He nodded his head in a mockery of politeness.

"D'Hoffryn." Xander figured he was screwed but maybe being polite would lighten his sentence.

"I have always held you responsible for my dear Anyanka's mortality and death, Alexander. How appropriate that the one to see her last moments is the one to curse you. I really must thank you for this opportunity, young Andrew."

Andrew was a little startled with the acknowledgement and squeaked an unsteady, "No problem."

Xander just gave him an incredulous look and a smack upside the head.

"I'll fix it, I promise!" Andrew yelled as Xander and D'Hoffryn dissappeared with a flash of light and an echoing, "Granted."

Xander shut his eye against the blinding light and when he opened them again he was no longer seated on the couch with Andrew, instead he was sitting casually on a metal ramp looking up at the easily recognizable Stargate in the gateroom of a lifesized, fully-functional and fully staffed military base. _-Well, crap. This is going to be fun.-_

He turned around slowly, taking in the details of the room before his eyes wandered to the control room perched high on the wall in front of him. The control room occupied by a rather shocked looking and slightly bug-eyed, Master Sergeant Walter Harriman. He'd always liked the character of Walter, despite it being a bit part, and not really knowing what else to do, he gave a small, quirky smile and waved casually at the gaping technician.

Still slightly stunned from his entrance, Walter returned the gesture even as his other hand went for a big red panic button. Immediately, alarm klaxxons sounded and red emergency lights flashed as blast doors slammed down over the Control Room's large observation windows.

Xander had to throttle down his fight or flight instinct, knowing that neither would do him any good in this situation. He took up a casual looking, neutral position and sprawled comfortably where he was sitting, leaning back on the ramp on one elbow and stretching his legs out in front of him. The odd position temporarily eased the pain of his tense muscles.

In moments, the gateroom was flooded with soldiers, all aiming uncomfortably high caliber weapons at all of his vital bits. He growled sub-vocally in frustration. He'd had a very long day. He'd trained slayers, tracked, fought and gotten thrown around by demons, been cursed into a TV show by the Council's cook and now there were people pointing weapons at him. He knew nearly all there was to know about these people. He had all the advantage here and he was going to use it. The SGC didn't look kindly on intruders, but they wouldn't harm him unless he was obviously hostile. He was fine as long as he remained non-threatening. But non-threatening didn't mean not irritating and if he was going to have a crappy time of this, he was going to share the misery, and hopefully get some fun out of it. Inside his head a small, evil looking mini-Xander was rubbing his hands together in glee and cackling.

So, when the blast doors over the control room slid back and revealed General Hammond, flanked by SG-1, his inner sci-fi geek squeed a little inside upon seeing them, but he didn't soften his heart and still started off his planned festivities. He got up slowly, making no sudden moves and not going anywhere near his various weapons or pockets.

In heavily accented and unsure sounding English he adressed the gathered personelle, holding his hand up in a gesture universal to trekkies everwhere, he greeted SG-1 carefully. "Greetings, Tauri of Earth. I come in peace. Take me to your leader." At the looks on everyone's faces it took all of his self control and biting the inside of his cheek to prevent the hysterical laughter bubbling up in his chest. He managed to keep his face polite and interested, silently thanking Giles' many boring speeches for that particular ability.

Who knows, maybe this would be fun. He certainly wasn't holding his breath for Andrew, of all people, to rescue him.

=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= **TBC** =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=

A/N:

I'm going to be writing these all out of order however the prompts inspire me, but when I get all 100 together I'll shuffle them into some semblance of chronological order. The prompts will all take place in the same Verse and will be inter-related to each other but not continual.


	2. 037 Sound

**Insta-Gater Verse  
**lightning_skies

Prompts – crossovers100 #037 - Sound  
Disclaimer – I don't own BtVS or Stargate  
Warning – Post S7 BtVS, Season 2ish SGA

=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= Prompt 037 - Sound =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=

It was a gorgeous morning in the ex-lost city of Atlantis. The sun was peeking over the horizon infusing the world with light and color once more as it warmed the air. Little alien birds swirled in the winds twisting through the spires of the city, singing their chipper twittering songs... and they weren't the only ones.

_"Good Morning, Good Morning to you and you and you and you, Good Morning, Good Morning, We've talked the whole night through, Good Morning, Good Morning to you." _Weir greeted SGA-1 as they assembled in the conference room for yet another hastily scheduled emergency meeting.

Xander smiled as he took the chair that had customarily become his during meetings and returned her greeting cheerily, enjoying himself immensely. _"It's gonna be a bright bright sun shiny day."_

Rodney, who had yet to make any attempt at meaningful communication beyond non-verbal grunts and growls that morning and who possessed a greater than normal ability to tune out the world, hadn't noticed anything off about the city's inhabitants yet and goggled at them both in early-morning glazed shock for a moment. He turned to Xander and Sheppard incredulously, intending to accuse them of being childish enough to involve the city's leader in a prank, but didn't expect what actually came out of his mouth. _"What's this? What's this? There's something very wrong. What's this? There's people singing songs. What's this?"_

John just looked tiredly from the calmly seated Weir and amused Xander to Rodney, who was still standing in the doorway gaping and practically vibrating in his agitation. He slouched in his chair and scrubbed his hands over his face in aggravation. It was too early for this. _"All I want is a proper cup of coffee, brewed in a proper copper pot. I may be off my dot but I want a proper cup from a proper copper pot. Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots they are no use to me. If I can't have a proper cup of coffee then I'll have a cup of tea."_

Sheppard's face twisted up in distaste at the thought of drinking tea as a substitute for his usual coffee. He was a firm believer that the only reason life in the Pegasus galaxy was even remotely bearable was because the Daedalus constantly supplied them with vast amounts of bulk packed coffee and chocolate. If they ever ran out, he suspected the scientists would systematically seek out and destroy every hive ship in the galaxy, fueled only on sheer frustration and withdrawal aggression- and that was only if the military presence hadn't snapped and found a way to blow up the whole city first. Hell, he, Rodney and Xander would probably lead the charge. SGA-1's allotment was triple that of any other SGA team, and Ronon and Teyla didn't suffer from an addiction to any of Earth's foods. Which, now that he thought about it, meant that the three of them were each consuming an entire team's ration. That couldn't be healthy. It was probably the real reason why Rodney was vibrating and Xander was always so excessively energetic and chipper.

"I believe that this meeting was called due to the strange behavior that seems to have taken over the city?" Teyla asked as she took her seat between John and Elizabeth. "It appears that Ronon and myself may be the only one's within the city to remain unaffected. I have encountered no others that are still communicating normally. I spoke briefly to my people on the mainland and their speech is likewise unaltered."

Ronon crossed his arms and nodded. It seemed unfair to John that someone who didn't tend to use his ability to talk at all still possessed the option to talk normally.

Rodney was properly horrified about the situation, and when Meredeth Rodney McKay was disturbed the first thing he always did was make sure everyone around him was well aware of his loud displeasure. _"And I'm, I am feeling a little peculiar, so I wake in the morning and I step outside, and I take deep breath and I get real high, and I scream from the top of my lungs - WHAT'S GOIN' ON?"_

Xander shifted guiltily and tried not to meet anyone's eyes. Which meant, of course, that everyone was watching him intently. _"I'm sorry so sorry, I'm sorry it's like this, I'm sorry so sorry, I'm sorry we do this"_

_"What have you done? What have you done? What have you done now?" _Rodney practically growled in his face. If he couldn't be sarcastic then he was damn well going to find another way to express just how irritated he was. Invading the younger man's personal space aggressively would have to do for now. He usually found it to be beneath his intelligence level to resort to physical intimidation, mostly because with his body type it was often ineffective, but without the ability to fully flex his well honed and razor sharp wit and brutal tongue, it would do.

Xander tried to defend himself as he leaned back in his seat, away from the looming Canadian._ "I swear I never meant for this, I never meant... Don't look at me that way. It was an honest mistake" _And it really was. How was he supposed to know that absentmindedly fiddling with the unidentified ancient device he'd found lying around the city while reminiscing about the Scoobie's adventures and 'Hellmouth the Musical' in particular was a recipe for disaster.

The whole singing and dancing thing was a once in a lifetime experience, not really the type of thing he expected to be repeating. Thankfully, the dancing seemed to have been left out this time, so there was no risk of spontaneously combusting Atlanteans. That would have been hard to explain to the world leaders back on Earth. Oops, I burned your best and brightest to a Broadway worthy crisp. Xander had breathed a sigh of relief when he realized that he was singing commercially released songs and wasn't going to be spouting off his darkest secrets again.

Rodney just huffed in annoyance and gestured emphatically. _"You tell me that you're sorry, didn't think I'd turn around and say, 'it's too late to apologize. It's too late.'"_

Weir sent Rodney a quelling look and sang earnestly to the assembled team, _"Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you." _She looked each of them in the eye for a moment, making sure they heard her confidence and plea for maturity._ "Together we'll stand, divided we'll fall. Come on now people, let's get on the ball and work together. Come on, come on. Let's work together"_

Teyla looked from the leader of Atlantis to her affected teammates and back. "What could have caused this? Xander if you feel you are at fault you must have some idea of what happened."

_"No matter where I stay, I find my way back home and I'll never forget those days..."_ He began slowly trying to express himself as clearly as possible in the situation. It was frustrating that the singing was constant. At least in Sunnydale the demon had let them talk normally in between verses. _"All of my memories keep you near. In silent moments, imagining you here. All of my memories keep you near, In silent whispers, silent tears. Made me promise I'd try, To find my way back in this life. Hope there is a way, To give me a sign you're okay. Reminds me again it's worth it all, So I can go home."_

Xander opened his mouth for a moment, but shut it again with a frustrated frown. He thought for a moment before continuing, _"I can smell the chemicals. Blinding me with science - Science! Science! Science!" _ He gestured at Rodney and put the ancient device he'd found on the table. After the initial activation it hadn't reacted to anything he'd thought at it, the damn thing just sat and smugly glowed at him. _ "She blinded me with science and hit me with technology." _

_"You see my problem is this: I'm dreaming away, wishing that heroes- they truly exist. I cry, watching the days, can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways. But to lose all my senses. That is just so typically me. Baby, oh- Oops!...I did it again."_ There was another long pause, Xander flushed in embarrassment for singing a Brittany Spears song as John snickered and Elizabeth's stern expression was betrayed when her lips twitched.

_"Memory, all alone in the moonlight. I can smile at the old days, I was beautiful then. I remember the time I knew what happiness was, let the memory live again"_ He looked around to see if anyone had understood what he was trying to say.. or sing as the case may be. He sighed and tried again. _"This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it not knowing what it was..." --- "Don't hesitate. Put your finger on the button..." --- "So just pull the trigger..... As my life flashes before my eyes"_

Ronon spoke up in his gravelly voice, "You were thinking about your home as you touched the ancient device."

Xander nodded enthusiastically. Ronon didn't talk much, but he made up for it by watching carefully instead and the result was an amazingly perceptive man who didn't rely on what was verbalized to understand what a person was saying. Xander had never been so grateful for that ability as he was now. Even he wouldn't have been able to untangle his garbled mess of verse and he already knew what he was trying to say.

"But why would such a memory cause the whole city to be forced into singing their words?" Teyla elaborated curiously.

_"It's all been done, it's all been done, it's all been done before." _Xander tapped his temple and then his lips. For good measure he waved his hand out from his mouth to emphasize the singing.

They all stared at him in amazement as Teyla voiced the question they all wanted to ask but where afraid to sing, "You have been forced to use musical communication before?"

Xander grinned with amusement in his eyes, _"Spectacular, spectacular! No words in the vernacular, can describe this great event, you'll be dumb with wonderment- The hills are alive, with the sound of music..."_

Ronon spoke again. "Why were we the only two spared?"

Xander frowned in thought before offering, _"There is just one moon and one golden sun and a smile means friendship to everyone. Though the mountains divide and the oceans are wide. It's a small, small world."_

"You believe that only those from earth are affected." Teyla interpreted and Xander just nodded and then shrugged helplessly.

_"Your poison running through my veins, your poison."_ He added.

"Only those who have travelled from Earth naturally possess the ancient gene." Rodney huffed and Teyla smiled at him indulgently as she continued. "...and the rest of the expedition team has been given the gene therapy."

John looked pleadingly from the device to Rodney. _"Sometimes I can never tell if I got something after me. That's why I just beg and plead for this curse to leave me."_

Xander snorted and rolled his eyes. _"Paranoia, Paranoia, Everybody's coming to get me. Just say you never met me."_

Everyone ignored his teasing and looked to Rodney for his reaction. He crossed his arms and stared back defiantly. _"I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty. I've got whozits and whatzits galore. You want thingamabobs? I got twenty. But who cares? No big deal. I want more."_

Weir caught his attention, and spoke reprovingly. _"Help, I need somebody, help, not just anybody, help, you know I need someone, help. Help me if you can, I'm feeling down and I do appreciate you being round. Help me, get my feet back on the ground, won't you please, please help me?"_

Rodney looked slightly chagrined, but lifted his chin arrogantly. _"I admit that in the past I've been a nasty. They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch- But you'll find that nowadays I've mended all my ways- Repented, seen the light, and made a switch, to this, and I fortunately know a little magic. It's a talent that I always have possessed and dear lady, please don't laugh, I use it on behalf of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic). Poor unfortunate souls- in pain, in need. This one longing to be thinner, that one wants to get the girl... and do I help them? Yes, indeed. Those poor unfortunate souls- so sad, so true."_

"Rodney. Can you fix it?" Teyla interrupted his self-inflation impatiently.

He snorted confidently, _"This is what you give me to work with? Well, honey, I've seen worse. We're going to turn this sow's ear Into a silk purse." _Scowling about the terrible mangling of his arrogant declaration, he abruptly snatched the device, holding it pinched between his fingers in distaste as he held it as far from his body as possible and stormed out of the room to his lab. Talking about this further was pointless when they couldn't communicate properly. At least now they weren't going to bother him constantly by asking how he was progressing every five minutes since they were even less likely than normal to understand his genius explanations.

If someone were to listen at the doors to his lab they would have heard him berating the entire science department. _"Let's get down to business - to defeat the Huns. Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons? You're the saddest bunch I've ever met but you can bet before we're through Mister, I'll make a man out of you"_

Several days later, once Rodney had fixed the problem, given them all a detailed and incomprehensible explanation of what exactly had happened, verbally berated Xander thoroughly for fooling around with technology he didn't understand and submitted a novel sized report that no one but Carter would ever read, Xander was sitting with John in the mess and asked. "Did you notice that nearly all of Rodney's songs were from Disney movies? Why do you think that was?"

And if Rodney twitched every time Xander so much as hummed the tune to _'I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves,'_ only the two of them knew why and they weren't telling.

=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= **TBC** =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=

A/N:  
I'm going to be writing these all out of order however the prompts inspire me, but when I get all 100 together I'll shuffle them into some semblance of chronological order. The prompts will all take place in the same Verse and will be inter-related to each other but not continual.

**Master Song List -  
Good Morning (from Singing in the Rain)  
Bright Sunshiny Day - Jimmy Cliff  
What's This? (from Nightmare Before Christmas)  
Proper Cup of Coffee - Trout Fishing in America  
What's Going On? - 4 Non Blondes  
They - Jem  
What Have You Done - Within Temptation  
Honest Mistake - The Bravery  
Apologize - One Republic/Timbaland  
Fix You - Coldplay  
Let's Work Together - Canned Heat  
Back Home - Hazen Street  
Memories - Within Temptation  
She Blinded Me With Science - Thomas Dolby  
Oops.. I Did It Again - Britney Spears  
Memories (from CATS)  
The Song That Never Ends  
Erase - Mika  
Russian Roulette - Rihanna  
It's All Been Done - Bare Naked Ladies  
Spectacular, Spectacular (from Moulin Rouge)  
It's a Small World (After All) - The Walt Disney Company  
Poison - Groove Coverage  
Did My Time - Korn  
Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger  
Part of Your World (from the Little Mermaid)  
Help! - The Beatles  
Poor Unfortunate Souls (from the Little Mermaid)  
Bring Honor to Us All (from Mulan)  
Make a Man Out of You (from Mulan)**


End file.
